Thursday, December 15, 2011

Wallflower. Flower of the Wall.

My sister-in-law told me casually that I was a wallflower, after having gotten off a daylong planeride with her four year old. . .across country and jetlag included?  I am granting her some leeway for the exhaustion she must be feeling.
Chakra Carol says the only time people can really hurt us with their words is when we believe what they say might be true.
HubsJ says I am not a wallflower, I am quiet.  There certainly is a large difference.  Discount me at your peril, I say.
I don't think I am a wallflower, really.  I don't. It niggles at me, though. So what is in there?  Sis-in-laws own power struggles?  My own feelings of isolation/solitude/hibernation?  I have loved moving to this town.  In some ways, I have a much wider support net than ever before, because of proximity to family and old old friends who would simply drop their own children in the road if I was in dire need.  In some other ways, I am a newcomer... and my quietness (shyness, slow to warm-ness?) can put me in a loophole of social interaction.  My kids aren't really having playdates, I don't really know my kids peers or their moms yet.  I know this will come, I just don't know when or if it will really be the 2-3 years everyone says it will.  In the meantime,  I wonder how to be a flower of the wall. . .

and i have this wierd feeling that I've written this whole post at an earlier date... huh... common themes? just in time for a new year? hmmm... :)