i could spend an entire day browsing pretty things and places on pinterest. honestly, and sincerely. facebook is losing its allure lately, right down to the boredom of monotonous games actually forcing me to get up from the computer. astonishing, never thought it would happen....
but looking at wonderful bedrooms? covered in quilts, beds made... empty spaces? clear and open countertops? sparkly lights and wooden floorboards? sign me up. a respite for these tear-cried-dry eyes of mine.
we have made our garden bed, now let us lie in it.
hubsJ has literally made us a garden bed, and when loam arrives, we will be comforted by the dirt which we have grown in...and hopefully? in which we will grow. and by we? i mean me. i want to grow something, watch it change without being fearful of it... feel responsibility without crushing defeat.... just a little thing.
dust to dust and so forth. while death is still so heavy with me, this is the flipside season to it, and i am aware. though still sunk.
... and stink and dirt are what my family is doing best these days. between the vomit and the crazed desire to be outside in the foolishly-cold-not-spring-yet weather we are having, we are dirtydirtydirty. and our jumpshots are slowly improving, and my muscles are being used, ever so slightly. and gasping breaths are being had, and neighbors have been sighted.
- i cut the last of the sick ones hair this morning. that'll learn em.
( might have to dash out to a barber to get him fixed up... seriously. poor thing. thats what you get when mums get inspired by the crazeddaze of spring.)
we'll all muddle through. or not. but still.